Up in arms : Last page of a soldier's diary

Today, might be the last night of my life as I lay down in my service tent which can well be my grave. I want to put down all the pain thats crushing my heart and hurts deeper than the bullet that passed by.

I've been very lucky to be blessed with a family which is not only caring but also supportive. But when I look back in time and question myself was I equally responsive towards them and in utter disgrace my heart gave me a silent 'no'. I was away each time my family needed me. Though am not embarrassed by it because I was protecting my motherland.

I was not a son who was by the side of his father when he was fighting for the last few breathes. I was not the son for whom a mother waited at the doorstep to come and wipe off her tears. I was not a husband to a wife who expected him to be home before the fall of dawn. I was not a father to a child holding whose hand he learned to walk his first steps.

I can see the dimming candle light laughing at my helplessness. I can feel the pain of being so numb to their cries. I might have missed their smiles amidst the sounds of bullets,I might have washed away their tears in the gallons of blood flowing around me. Whatever it may be I am the culprit of their sorrows.

I know I evaded all my duties for serving the country & now at the point when I cant give anything back to my loved ones. I am dying with the consolation that one day my son would say “dad is my hero”. I'm dying with the hope that my wife would be called a widow of a warrior. I'm dying with the pride that every mother would envy my mother's luck for giving birth to a soldier who laid down his life fighting for his country.

I am sure that my people wouldn't mind my sudden exit from their lives because I wasn't not there in the major part of it. But I would promise them if I have another life to live it would be dedicated to them. And if at all I could feel again tomorrow's sun again ..... I promise to be Up in arms for my country Once more......


"This is how our relations are made. So time and again make your family realize how important they are to you, else the time may snatch the very last chance too."